A Night at the Hardknock Hotel
by Seymour Butz
Summary: Just another one of those nights at one of those creepy-looking motels that turn out to have more to it than meets the eye...
1. Like Sand from the Hour Glass

Author's Note: I am making it a point to write more fanfiction that are rated between K and T, since people tend to actually read those.

Also, before anyone askes, they are eight again in this story.

Enjoy.

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter One "Like Sand From the Hour Glass..."

The chipmunks were heading home from the frozen yogurt shop. Simon and Theodore were in their usual frame of mind, but for some reason, Alvin seemed a bit sluggish today.

"Hey, Alvin," Theodore called back at his oldest brother, "what are you walking so slow for?"

"The slower I walk," Alvin began, "the longest it'll take me to get home."

"Don't tell me," Simon responded, "let me guess... you don't want to face Dave when he find out you failed you math test?"

"Pssh! Who cares about the math test?" Alvin asked. "I just don't want to go home is all!"

"Aw, but Alvin, home is where your head is!" Theodore said.

"I believe you mean home is where your heart is." Simon corrected him.

"I don't think so, but I do know that home is where my stomach wants to be!" Theodore replied.

"Because Dave is fixing lasagna tonight?" Simon asked, with a chuckle.

"That, and because I suddenly have a craving for cheddar cheese popcorn!"

"Ugh... first it was salt... then it was butter... now cheddar cheese... what more could they possibly put in popcorn for flavor? Garlic?"

"Haven't you ever tried garlic popcorn?"

"No, I haven't. So anyway, Alvin, why are you so dreading going home today?"

"Why?" Alvin responded, now even dragging further behind his brothers. "I'll tell you why, because I'm sick of home! Everyday, it's the same thing... we get up... we go to school... we come home... it's like clockwork! It's like those really boring movies they keep repeating on TV over, and over, and over again!"

"So, in other words," Simon said, "you feel your life is monotonous?"

"No," Alvin replied, "I just think it's getting boring and repetitive."

"At least you cleared that up." Simon said, sarcastically.

"But Alvin," Theodore began, "what else can we do?"

"I don't know about you fellas," Alvin responded, "but I need something to break the routine, otherwise, I think I'll go crazy!"

"So what else is new?" Simon asked.

"I don't know about you fellas," Alvin repeated, "but I need something to break the routine, otherwise, I think I'll go crazier than usual!"

"Oh my," Simon said, again with sarcasm, "not good..."

"You know," Theodore said, "maybe Alvin's right... life has been pretty uneventful lately... I mean, it's been a long time since our last concert, and Dave doesn't want us to start touring again until the school year is over..."

"That's it!" Alvin exclaimed. "No wonder I've been feeling so bored lately... it's been a long time since we've had a break from school!"

"Well," Simon said, "spring break is next week..."

"Exactly!" Alvin squealed. "We need to have a munk-to-man talk with Dave and tell him we need a vacation!"

"Absolutely not!" Dave said, as the chipmunks stood in his bedroom, asking for a vacation.

"But, Dave..." Alvin began.

"We can't, Alvin," Dave responded, "did you boys forget I have business to attend to next week? I'll be out of town pretty much the entire week, this just isn't a very convenient time for a vacation."

"Aw phooey, Dave!" Alvin barked.

"Now, Alvin, you know I'd love to go on a vacation as much as you boys, but you know what they say, business before pleasure, and at the moment, business is pretty much standing in the way of pleasure."

"Then what are we supposed to do for the entire week? Pester each other? Watch reruns on TV? Read books?!?!"

"Perhaps you boys can spend some time with the girls, you're going to stay with Miss Miller while I'm gone."

Alvin pretended to fall sick. He fell to the floor, and faked a cough. "Oh, Dave..." he moaned, "is this what you want for your dying son?"

"Alvin..."

"To spend his last days in the care of some smelly old lady?"

"Alvin..."

Alvin faked another cough. "The light... I can see the light..."

"Alvin..."

Alvin clutched his heart, and faked yet another cough. "Roooooooooooooooooosebuuuuuuuuuuud..."

"Alvin!!!"

"What?!"

"It's not going to wash with me, Alvin!"

"Aw nuts!"

"That performance lacked sincerity, and was completely unrealistic, Alvin," Simon critiqued, "quit now, while you're ahead."

"Aw, shut up!" Alvin mumbled.

"Don't talk to your brother like that, Alvin!" Dave barked. "Why don't you go to your room, and cool off for a bit?"

"Maybe I will!" Alvin said, as he arose from the floor, and trudged out of Dave's bedroom, while Dave shook his head.

"That boy, I swear..." Dave mumbled quietly.

"Well," Theodore said, "maybe spending a week with Miss Miller and the chipettes will break Alvin's manatee?"

"His what?" Dave asked, in confusion.

"I believe Theodore meant to say that spending a week with Miss Miller and the chipettes will break the monotony Alvin seems to be experiencing in his life right now."

"I realize life's been a bit monotonous as of late," Dave admitted, "but Alvin will just have to learn how to grin and bear it... oh, uh, dinner will be a little late tonight, so you boys can grab a snack from the kitchen to hold you over in the meantime."

"Thanks, Dave!" Theodore squealed, as he ran out of the room.

"Need any help, Dave?" Simon offered.

"No," Dave replied, "I'm just going through some paperwork here..."

"Okay." Simon said, as he walked out of Dave's room, and down the stairs, when he heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey, Simon," Brittany greeted him on behalf of her, and her sisters, when he answered the door, "where's Alvin?"

"Up in his room, sulking". Simon said.

"Maybe I can cheer him up..." Brittany said, shaking her hips before entering the house.

"And Theodore's in the kitchen." Simon told Eleanor, before she could ask.

"I think I might have left some of my books in your lab, Simon." Jeanette spoke up.

"Let's go!" Simon said, taking Jeanette's hand, escorting her to the basement.

Up in his room, Dave answered the phone, when is started ringing. "Hello?" He answered. "Yes, this is David Seville... what's that? The trip is being postponed? How come? Uh-huh? Oh, I see... when it is being postponed? In two weeks? No, that's not a problem..." Dave started smiling. "That's not a problem at all..."

"I am not!" Brittany barked.

"You are too!" Alvin barked back.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"How dare you call me a mangy harlot!" Brittany screamed.

"Well, you are!" Alvin said.

"Kids?" Dave said, poking his head in the bedroom door.

"Yes, David?" Alvin and Brittany said, innocently.

"So then I told her 'that's not Hamlet, that's MacBeth'..." Jeanette told Simon.

"It seems to me that sometimes teachers are no brighter than the pupils they teach." Simon responded.

"Simon? Jeanette?" Dave said, looking down the basement staircase.

"Do you think we should use four, or five spoonfuls of chocolate?" Eleanor asked Theodore.

"Definitely five!" Theodore squealed. "The more the better!"

"Let us not forget, that in some cases, less is more." Eleanor added.

"Come on you two," Dave said, walking into the kitchen, "I've got great news!"

So, when the kids met Dave in the den, they were in for quite a surprise.

"Kids, my business trip has been postponed... you know what that means?"

"A big harvest?" Theodore asked.

"Uh... no... it means we'll be able to go on a vacation next week!" Dave exclaimed.

That perked the kids up.

"All of us!" Dave said.

"Us too?" Brittany asked.

"Sure... that is, if Miss Miller doesn't mind."

"Aw, I don't want Brittany hogging my vacation!" Alvin muttered.

"Watch it, twerp!" Brittany barked.

"Now, now, kids, let's not get into little spats here, let's concentrate on our vacation... where would you like to go?"

"The beach!" Brittany squealed.

"No way, the mountains!" Alvin cried out.

"Beach!"

"Mountains!"

"Beach!"

"Mountains!"

"Hold it, hold it!" Dave shouted. "We can settle this in a more mature, and civilized ballot... now, you kids all think long and hard about the two choices, and tomorrow, we'll put it to a vote."

"Um, Dave?" Simon asked.

"Yes, Simon?" Dave responded.

"Suppose it's a tie?" Simon asked. "Shouldn't we have an emergency tie-breaker?"

"Hmm, you're right... I'll think about that... in the meantime, you kids think about the two choices."

They did think, long and hard about it. Each one. Alvin was set on the mountains, Brittany was set on the beach. The others, however, thought long and hard about it. Both were nice places to take a vacation, but which of the two sounded the most appealing? When the next day rolled around, and the kids gathered in Dave's den...

"I'm so glad Miss Miller said it was okay for us to go!" Brittany said with excitment.

"It's too bad she doesn't want to come with us." Jeanette said, sadly.

"Don't worry, Jeanette," Eleanor reassured her, "she's been around."

"Alright then," Dave said, as he walked into the den, "let's put it to a vote... who wants to go to the beach?"

Besides Brittany, Simon, and Eleanor raised their hands. Both Simon and Eleanor's reasonings were that the beach sounded more like the ideal vacation spot.

"... And, the mountains?" Dave asked.

Besides Alvin, Jeanette, and Theodore raised their hands. They had similar feelings, living in Los Angeles, the mountains would actually offer a change of scenery in more ways than one. Theodore, mostly, liked the idea of roasting marshmellows and hot dogs over an open camp fire, meanwhile, Jeanette had a craving for the beauty of a mountain landscape.

"I was afraid of this... a tie..." Dave said.

"So, what kind of tie-breaker did you have in mind, Dave?" Simon asked.

Out in the back yard, Alvin, Jeanette, and Theodore were on one end of a rope, while Brittany, Simon, and Eleanor were on the other.

"Now, you kids know what to do, right?" Dave asked.

"Right!" The kids responded.

"The first time to either lose their grip on the rope, fall to the ground loses, or steps over the line is out... ready?"

The kids braced themselve.

"Go!" Dave called out.

The kids began their tug of war. The competition was really heated. Both teams had strong, energetic members in Alvin and Eleanor, but they each had their liabilities as well. Jeanette struggled a lot, as did Theodore, who tied the end of the rope around his body, and tried to walk backwards. Simon, being the indoors kind of kid that he is, had little-to-no muscle mass whatsoever, and nearly gave in, meanwhile Brittany barely did a thing, afraid she would break a nail. Both teams made sure not to get too close to the line, but Alvin's strength, and Theodore's belly paid off, as one good pull, and Brittany and Simon fell forward.

"Well, that settles it," Dave said, "looks like we're going to the mountains!"

Alvin, Jeanette, and Theodore cheered. Simon shrugged it off, knowing that a vacation in the mountains isn't so bad. Eleanor didn't mind at all either, but Brittany was being a sore loser.

"Wait a minute!" Brittany cried out. "I want a do-over!"

"Fat chance!" Alvin gloated. "We're goin' to the mountains, and that's all there is to it!"

Brittany pouted.

"Oh, come on Brittany," Dave said, kneeling down beside her, "just think, you can still go swimming... there'll be a lake, and everything."

Brittany rolled her eyes.

"I mean, you don't have to go if you don't want to, but it sure wouldn't be the same without you."

"Yeah, you're right," Brittany agreed, "I mean, somebody has to look after my sisters, and that somebody is me!"

Jeanette and Eleanor eyeballed each other, before rolling their eyes as well.

The next afternoon, Dave had rented a mini-van for the week, when the chipettes arrived, each of them had one suitcase, Eleanor also had a gym bag, Jeanette had a duffle bag, Brittany had her backpack, a bookbag, a big pocket book, a rolling case, and a small cardboard box.

"Brittany?" Eleanor asked. "I believe the idea was for you to bring only your bare necessities..."

"Please!" Brittany scoffed. "These are my barest necessities!"

"Meanwhile," Jeanette whispered to Eleanor, "her side of the room is the barest back home!"

Eleanor giggled.

"Hi, girls!" Dave said, walking out of the garage with some long rope.

"Hi, Dave!" The girls called back.

"Excited about our trip?" He asked.

"Sure are!" Jeanette squealed. "I made sure I brought my camera, I wouldn't want to miss any opportunity to take pictures of the majestic mountain ecosystem!"

Brittany snapped a picture of Jeanette. "There," she said, "there's a start... a picture of a wild chipmunk!"

"Brittany..." Jeanette mumbled.

"Okay, fellas!" Dave called out, as Alvin, Simon, and Theodore carried a large suitcase out to the van.

Basically, it was filled assorted changes of clothes, underwear, toothbrushes and toothpaste, and the like, while Alvin, Simon, and Theodore each were carrying their backpacks. Dave took the suitcase, rested it on top of the van, and began to secure it down with the rope, as it wouldn't fit in the back of the van.

"You kids go ahead, and start loading your things up in the back, while I tie this on tightly..." Dave said, so the kids obeyed.

"Dang, Brittany," Alvin said, noticing all of her luggage, "what'd you bring? Everything, including the kitchen sink?"

"Aw, pipe down, buttface!" Brittany said, as she placed her things in the back of the van, as did the others.

Dave finished tying the suitcase to the roof of the van. "Now that that's taken care of, how are you kids doing?"

"We'd be doing better, if Brittany's junk alone didn't take up half of the wayback!" Alvin said.

Brittany fumed.

"Well..." Dave began, "so... well, is everything all set?"

"Yep!" The kids squealed.

"Anybody need to use the bathroom before we leave?" He asked.

Everyone ran back into the house after that. Moments later, everyone was in the van, as it pulled out of Dave's driveway, and into the street.

"What say we get some breakfast before we begin?" Dave asked, as the kids cheered. "Does IHOP sound good to everyone?"

"Oh boy!" Theodore squealed. "Pancakes!" 


	2. On the Road Again

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Two "On the Road Again"

Everyone was enjoying their breakfasts at IHOP... in some cases, Theodore was enjoying their breakfasts as well... whatever anyone else couldn't eat, he'd eat it for them.

"You kids about finished?" Dave asked, as he finished his eggs.

The kids replied with murmurs of contentment. Dave whipped out the map to the cabin he rented for the week in the mountains.

"We have quite a drive ahead of ourselves," Dave said, "it's going to be difficult... I can't possibly keep checking the map for directions and drive at the same time... I'll need help... I'll need a navigator..." Dave said with a smile.

"What could you possibly need an alligator for?" Theodore asked, while the others snickered.

"No, Theodore," Dave said, trying hard not to chuckle, "not an alligator, a navigator... someone who will hold onto the map for me, and help me with the directions along the drive to the mountains... so how about it? Anyone want to be my navigator?"

"Me!" Jeanette shot her hand up, but then blushed in embarrassment, before lowering her hand. "Um... I'd... I'd kind of like to..."

"Here you go!" Dave said, as he handed the map to Jeanette. "Do you know how to read a map?"

"Sure I do..." Jeanette said as she unfolded the map. "We haven't even left town yet... and the mountains where we're vacationing are... north of here..."

"Pretty much." Dave nodded.

"I'll do a good job, Dave." Jeanette said, nervously.

"I know you will, Jeanette." Dave said with a smile, while Simon gave her a small pet on the back.

Shortly thereafter, the mini-van Dave rented was pulling out of the IHOP parking lot, and up to the exit to enter the highway.

"Well," Dave said to Jeanette, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, "which way do we go from here, Miss Navigator?"

Dave knew he wanted to turn left, since it was clear by various road signs that that was north, but he wanted to make Jeanette feel confident and helpful, so he made a mental note to consult with Jeanette through-out the entire drive to the mountains.

"Um..." Jeanette mumbled, looking at the map, "let's see..." Jeanette found the highway they were pulling into on the map, then looked for their current location, and when she found it, she saw that in order to head north, they would have to turn left. "That way!" Jeanette squeaked, pointing to the left, so Dave turned left.

"Does take us to a road we want to be on?" Dave asked.

Jeanette looked at the map, and saw the highway they were on took them to a road that Dave had marked on the map. She then looked at the legend, and saw that they would have to drive for about ten miles before they reach their road. "Yes," she said, "we have to keep driving on this road for about ten miles before we reach the interstate."

"Okay!" Dave said with a smile, making Jeanette feel confident and helpful.

"Hey!" Alvin called out from the middle seat. "How about a road came to pass the time?"

"Nice idea, Alvin!" Dave said.

"The first one to count ten out-of-state license plates wins..." Alvin looks out the window and spots an Oregon license plate, "Oregon!"

"I saw it first!" Brittany barked, sitting next to Alvin.

"In your dreams!"

"Cheater!"

"Takes one to know one!"

"Don't make me get rough with you, punk!"

"Down make me reach back there!" Dave barked.

Both Alvin and Brittany said the other started it.

"I don't care who started it, I'll finish it!" Dave said.

"Alright," Simon spoke up from the back seat, "here's a simple game... somebody think of a person, and someone else try to guess who it is."

"I go first!" Alvin said.

"Man, or woman?" Simon asked.

"Woman!" Alvin said, with a perverse look on his face.

"Is she living, or dead?" Eleanor asked, sitting next to Brittany.

"No, she's alive." Alvin said.

"Is it Miss Stone?" Theodore asked, sitting next to Simon.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"Is she a woman you've had a crush on?" Simon asked.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe..." Alvin said.

"Is it Lindsay Lohan?" Jeanette asked from up front.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"Well, this is going to take a while," Simon said, "if it's possibly a girl you've had a crush on..."

Alvin smirked.

"Help us narrow it down... is she a girl around our age, or is she an adult?" Simon asked.

"Adult." Alvin said.

"It's not Miss Miller, is it?!" Brittany asked in disgust.

"No way!" Alvin said, equally disgusted.

"Is she a part of our lives, or is this an unconventional crush?" Simon asked.

"What do you mean 'unconventional'?" Alvin asked.

"Like is she someone you don't know personally... like a celebrity or someone?"

"Yes, she's a celebrity."

"Is she Elizabeth Taylor?" Theodore asked.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"Is she a movie star?" Eleanor asked.

"Not exactly." Alvin said.

"Is she a singer?" Brittany asked.

"Yes." Alvin said.

"Carrie Underwood?" Jeanette asked.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"Hannah Montana?" Theodore asked.

"He said adult, remember?" Simon reminded Theodore.

"Oh yeah." Theodore responded.

"Shania Twain?" Eleanor asked.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"What type of music does she sing?" Brittany asked.

"She does all different types of music." Alvin said.

"Well, I give up." Simon said.

"Yeah, me too." Theodore agreed.

"Yeah, who is she, Alvin?" Brittany asked.

"You all give up?" Alvin asked.

"Yes!" Everyone else in the van, including Dave yelled.

"Okay..." Alvin said, adjusting his cap, "Janice Karman."

The van went silent.

"Who?" Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor all asked in unison, while Alvin, Simon, and Dave held blank expressions on their faces.

Hours later.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Brittany said, pressing her thighs together, tightly.

"I'm hungry!" Theodore said.

"I'm bored!" Alvin mumbled.

"Are we getting close to a rest stop, Jeanette?" Dave asked through his teeth.

"Well..." Jeanette looked at the map, "there should be about three more miles ahead on the right..."

"Fine..." Dave said.

"Try not to think about things... like rushing waterfalls." Alvin joked with Brittany.

"Shut up!" Brittany said.

"Alvin! Brittany!" Dave said.

"I wonder if there's a nice creek, or a brook where I can do some fishing..." Alvin teased.

"Shut up!" Brittany barked.

"Looking forward to a dip in the lake?" Alvin nudge Brittany's shoulder.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Brittany screamed.

"Shut up!" Everyone else screamed.

Alvin quieted down after that. Brittany tried so hard to hold it in. Alvin took a sip from his water bottle, but finished it. "I should have brought another bottle of water." Alvin casually said.

Brittany pulled her skirt up, and saw her underwear and tights were now wet.

Brittany sat in a stall in the womens' room at the rest center, crying.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed, Brittany." Eleanor said, handing Brittany clean underwear. "Accidents happen to everybody."

"I hate Alvin!" Brittany screamed through her tears. "I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I wish Dave would just spank him into next Tuesday!"

"Come on Brittany, change out of your dirty clothes..." Jeanette said, with a trashbag.

"These were my best tights!" Brittany sniffed. "Now they're ruined!" Brittany took her shoes and leg warmers off, handed them to Eleanor, while she handed her wet tights and underwear to Jeanette, who placed them in the trashbag, and walked out to dispose of them.

Meanwhile, Alvin walked out of the mens' room, rubbing his rear end, while trying to hide his tears. Dave followed after him, looking the madest he's ever looked.

"Looks like Alvin got the belt." Simon said, as he watched from the magazine rack.

"And Dave's not usually one to spank," Theodore said, while munching on a bag of chips, "but Alvin asked for it..."

Brittany walked out of the womens' room in a pair of red sweatpants. "Ugh!" She sniffed. "This outfit looks ridiculous!"

"Nobody cares, Brittany," Eleanor said, trying to wrap an arm around her sister's shoulders.

"I do not want to sit next to Alvin for the rest of the ride!" Brittany barked.

Alvin was moved to the back seat, where he sat with Simon and Theodore, while Eleanor and Brittany kept the middle seat. The group kept driving on for more hours, when suddenly, Dave was coming to a junction.

"Okay Jeanette, this is important..." Dave said, while Jeanette unfolded the map.

"Did you find it?" He asked.

"Yeah, I got it!" Jeanette squealed.

"Okay, this is it... left or right?" He asked.

"We go ri..." the map slipped out of Jeanette's hands and flew out the window, though Dave turned right anyway, since he remembered that was his route.

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm sorry!" Jeanette panicked. "It was an accident! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, Jeanette!" Dave tried to calm Jeanette down. "It's okay, it was an accident, I know, it's okay... don't worry, it's okay..."

Jeanette's face was bright red with embarrassment, and humiliation. Even though Dave tried to reassure her it wasn't anything to get upset over, Jeanette knew being in charge of the map was her responisibility. She felt so terrible for losing the map, she almost cried. She was so sure that Dave was really mad at her, that she couldn't face him for the rest of the ride. She didn't say anything for the rest of the trip either. They could end up lost, and she knew it would be all her fault. It grew darker outside, and Dave had no idea how close they were getting, until he saw a gas station up ahead. He pulled up in the parking lot, and unbuckled his belt.

"Hold tight, kids," Dave said, "I'll bet right back..."

Dave stepped into the gas station, and over to the newspaper rack, to see if there were any maps, or road atlases, but he didn't see any.

"Can I help you, sir?" Asked the cashier.

"Do you not have any maps?" Dave asked.

"All out," replied the cashier, "you need directions?"

"How much further are the mountains, from here?" He asked.

"From here? About fifty miles."

"And you don't have any maps?"

"Afraid not."

"Well... is there some place to spend the night around here? A hotel, anything?"

"Yeah, there's a motel about five miles up the road... you can't miss it, it's the Hardknock Hotel."

Moments later, the gang was at the Hardknock Hotel... or it was more of a motel. A very old-looking motel at that. It almost looked like the set of the Bates Motel.

"This place looks creepy..." Theodore said, holding onto his teddy bear.

Dave dinged the bell at the front desk, and was met with a thin, unshaven man with greasy hair.

"Welcome to the Hotel of Hardknocks." He coughed. "I mean, the Hardknock Hotel... will you please sign in?"

Dave took the pencil, and signed the guestbook, while the manager eyeballed the chipmunks and the chipettes in the lobby.

"Are those with you?" He asked Dave.

"Yes," Dave replied, "we're on a little vacation, and we, heh, lost our map, and need a place to stay for the night... I'd like two rooms please."

"Two rooms?" Alvin asked. "You mean the rest of you are going to sleep in one room? Kind of cramped, isn't?"

"One room is for us, Alvin," Dave said, "the other is for the girls."

"You're letting us have our own room?" Brittany asked.

"Well," Dave said, "I'm sure you girls would like your privacy..."

The manager handed Dave two keys, one for each room. "The towels are kind of scratchy..." he said.

Shortly later, the chipettes stepped into their room. It was filthy. Wallpaper was peeling, the bed wasn't made, the room smelled like smoke, the toilet was clogged, there was dirt and hair all over the floor.

"Ewwwwwwwwww!" Brittany cringed. "First thing in the morning, I'm filing an informal complaint! And there's only one bed!"

"Well, yeah..." Eleanor said.

"Where are you two going to sleep?" Brittany asked.

"You wouldn't think of sharing?" Eleanor asked, sarcastically.

"Of course not... I'll play you for it... rock, paper, scissors... best two out of three."

"Brittany..."

"Come on!"

The girls held up their hands. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Brittany had scissors, Eleanor hand paper, Jeanette had rock. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Brittany had paper, Eleanor had rock, Jeanette had scissors. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" All three of them had scissors.

A few seconds later, Brittany was unpacking her duffle bag on the bed, while Eleanor discovered the couch actually had a hide-a-bed. "Well, at least we'll still have a bed... sort of." She said to Jeanette, who simply shrugged.

"I'm grabbing a shower." Brittany boasted, as she grabbed her nightgown, and stepped into the bathroom.

"You're not still upset about the map, are you Jeanette?" Eleanor asked in concern.

Jeanette didn't respond, but she did nod, but before Eleanor could react, they heard Brittany screaming in the bathroom. Eleanor and Jeanette ran into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?!" Eleanor asked.

Brittany pulled back the shower curtain, and extended her arms. "Look!!!"

"What?!" Eleanor asked.

"Look!!!"

"What?!"

"Look!!!" Brittany pointed out the barely noticable marks are her arms. "The washcloth scratched me up!!!" 


	3. Experiment in Terror

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Three "Experiment in Terror"

The girls lie asleep in their beds in their motel room. Well, for the most part. They all had trouble sleeping. The sheets in Brittany's bed smelled funny, while the hide-a-bed wasn't very comfortable for Jeanette and Eleanor.

"Jeanette?" Eleanor said softly.

"Hmm?" Jeanette replied, just as softly.

"Don't worry so much about that map..." Eleanor said, as she snuggled close to her older sister. "It was just an accident."

"I know," Jeanette said, sadly, as she held her baby sister close, "but... gosh, Ellie, if we got lost, and couldn't find our way back home... it'd be all my fault!"

"We won't get lost, Jeanette, don't worry about that." Eleanor tried to reassure her.

"But..." Jeanette began.

"Will you two shut up, so I can try to sleep?!" Brittany yelled.

Eleanor whispered a cat sound to Jeanette, which made Jeanette snicker a little.

"Hey... what was that?" Jeanette said, hearing something outside that sounded like a chainsaw buzzing.

"I don't know..." Eleanor said.

The buzzing resumed.

"There it is again!" Jeanette said.

"Yeah, I heard it too!" Eleanor said.

"What's going on?" Brittany said, half asleep.

Jeanette and Eleanor sat up on the hide-a-bed, and carefully parted the curtains of the window to peak outside, without revealing what they were doing to anyone else. They saw nothing outside. Except for the mini-van, which was parked in front of the boys' room. Another car zoomed down the road, but that was it. It seemed so dead outside. The buzzing started again. This time it was louder, and caught Jeanette and Eleanor by surprise, as they raced over to Brittany with lightning speed. Jeanette and Eleanor hid under the covers, and grabbed Brittany, but she pulled the covers back.

"Oh come on, don't tell me a little buzzing is scaring you two girls out of your wits!" Brittany said, acting brave.

"It sounds like someone with a chainsaw is waiting for us outside!" Eleanor said.

Another sound was heard. A hissing sound. Like from an air pump at a gas station. It came from the bathroom.

"What's that?!" Jeanette asked, wrapping her arms, and legs, around her big sister.

"Let go of me, will you?!" Brittany said, trying to push Jeanette off of her.

They didn't realize, but the smoke detector in their room actually screwed itself loose, and disappeared into the wall. In it's place, was like a little security camera of sorts, which focussed its attention on the chipettes. The camera then disappeared into the wall, and the smoke detector returned to its original place.

"Oh, I'll go check it, if you're so worried." Brittany said, sliding out of bed, and into the bathroom, while Jeanette and Eleanor huddled together, with the covers wrapped around them.

Yet another sound was heard by the two. It sounded like machinery of some sort. Their eyes widened, as they felt the bed move.

"Brittany!!!" Jeanette and Eleanor screamed, just before the bed rotated, sending the two girls down a trap door, while another bed rotated into its place.

In the bathroom, Brittany discovered the hissing sound they heard was the toilet running, for some reason. She lifted the seat, and saw through the manure-infested water that the drain was glowing. An eerie green glow. Suddenly, the water went down the drain, but before Brittany had time to react, there was a rumble.

Seconds later, Brittany walked out of the bathroom, soaking wet with brown water, and smelling like a sewer. "That's it!" She shrieked. "We're getting out of here right... Jeanette? Eleanor?" Brittany looked around the room, but saw no signs of her little sisters. "Come on girls, this isn't funny... please don't jump out from behind anything... Jean? Ellie?"

In the boys' room, Theodore had woken up, to go to the bathroom himself. Once inside, he unzipped his pajamas, and sat on the toilet. "Ooh..." he groaned, "I shouldn't have had that sixteenth piece of garlic toast at supper...". Theodore was more alert when he felt the toilet vibrate. Suddenly, the toilet elevated itself up into the air, and saw the bottom of the bathtub slide open, revealing some kind of chute. "Alvin!" He cried. "Simon! Dave!" The toilet lowered Theodore into the tub, he tried to hold on for dear life, but he was too heavy, and his weight pulled down on his little finger, which slid off the toilet with easy, allowing him to fall down the chute.

"What was that?" Simon asked, after having being woken up by all the commotion.

"I don't know." Alvin said, shaking Dave's shoulder. "Dave! Wake up!"

"Huh?" He mumbled, as he woke up. "What's the matter boys?"

"Something weird is going on in the bathroom!" Alvin said.

"Dave walked into the bathroom, but some nothing out of the ordinary. "There's nothing going on here, Alvin... except that someone left the light on." Dave said, as he flipped it off.

"But, Dave," Simon began, "we heard..."

"Come on, fellas," Dave said, with a yawn, "let's all just try to get a little sleep."

"Hey, where's Theodore?" Alvin asked.

Jeanette and Eleanor huddled together inside a cage.

"I'm... I'm not scared..." Jeanette tried to sound brave, to try to put her baby sister at ease.

"Well, I am!" Eleanor said, holding on to Jeanette tightly.

"Um... don't worry, Ellie..." Jeanette's voice started breaking up, but she held Eleanor close.

Just then, the manager from the front desk walked over to the cage.

"I thought there was something fishy about him..." Jeanette whispered into Eleanor's ear, "like the villains of all those mystery novels I've read."

"Hmm..." he said, "yes, you'll do nicely..."

Jeanette and Eleanor eyeballed each other, before their captor called out for his henchmen.

"Orson!" He called out.

Descending a wooden staircase into what Jeanette and Eleanor saw was some kind of laboratory was a short, thin, wimpy man in a lab coat. "Coming, Dr. Henderson!" Orson called out, to his superior.

"Seymour!" Dr. Henderson then called out.

Another short man walked into the room from the broom closet. This man was more on the roly-poly side, and had huge glasses, even larger than Jeanette's. "Coming, Dr. Henderson!"

The two scientists walked over to the cage, and saw the two frightened chipettes inside.

"What do you think?" Dr. Henderson asked.

"They'll be just fine." Orson responded.

"Very fine, indeed." Seymour agreed.

"I'll let you two take of these, while I attend to the little butterball in the other lab." Dr. Henderson said, as he walked into another room, which led to another laboratory.

"I'll take care of the pudgy one," Orson said, taking charge, since he had more seniority, "you can have the one in the specs..."

Orson unlocked the cage, and the two scientists stepped inside, while Jeanette and Eleanor held on to each other. Tighter and tighter, their grip on each other grew, while in the other lab, Dr. Henderson walked over to a glass box, Theodore was sitting in.

"Oh, it's you!" Theodore squealed, recognizing Dr. Henderson as the manager from the check-out desk. "Listen, I don't like to complain... but I think there's something wrong with the bathroom!"

Dr. Henderson smirked, before letting out an evil chuckle of laughter.

"Um..." Theodore started, "I don't think this is very funny... I was so scared, I think when I was finished peeing, I peed again!"

Dr. Henderson laughed even more.

Brittany walked out her room, and began crying out. "Jeanette!" She cried out. "Eleanor! Where are you two?!"

That's when Dave stepped out in his bathrobe, and coat. "Brittany?" He asked. "What are you doing out of your room at this time of night?"

"Jeanette and Eleanor just disappeared!" She shrieked.

"Strange," he said, "so did Theodore... and... what's the smell?"

"Poo water!" Brittany screamed. "The toilet in our room exploded! I don't like this place... it's creepy, and filthy, there's weird noises, and people go missing!"

"Let's go talk to the manager!" Dave suggested, taking Brittany's hand, as they walked down the sidewalk towards the office.

Back in their room, Alvin and Simon slipped out of their bed, and changed into their regular outfits.

"There's something disturbing about this place," Simon said, "I sense a disaster in the making..."

"Yeah, me too." Alvin said. "We ought to get out of this place! This is all Jeanette's fault!"

"What?!" Simon said, pissed off.

"I said, this is all Jeanette's fault!" Alvin responded.

"How dare you say that!" Simon barked.

"Hey, she was the one who threw the map out the window," Alvin reminded his younger brother, "because of that, we got lost, and now, here we are in this creepy motel where people go missing!"

"Don't pin all of this on Jeanette!" Simon barked.

"Oh," Alvin said, sarcastically, "excuse me for talking smack about your girl, Mr. American Gigolo!"

"Alvin!" Simon said, about to blow his cork.

Dave and Brittany walked into the main office of the motel, Dave walked up to the front desk, and dinger the bell on the counter, but no one answered. "Hello?" called out, not receiving an answer. "Hello? Is there anyone working here tonight?" He called out again.

Dr. Henderson casually strolled down the sidewalk, and to the open door of room 156.

"... And if you say anything negative about Jeanette again, you've got another thing coming!" Simon yelled.

"Okay, okay, chill!" Alvin said, trying to keep Simon at bay.

"Enjoying your stay?" Dr. Henderson asked, catching the two of them by surprise.

"As a matter of fact, we're not!" Simon spoke up.

"Yeah, we hate it here!" Alvin said. "We're leaving!"

"Not so fast there, I need you..." Dr. Henderson said, sheepishly, as he walked over towards them.

"Break!" Alvin screamed, as he and Simon scrambled passed Dr. Henderson, and into the night, while Dr. Henderson simply casually walked out of the room, and down the rest of the sidewalk, just as Dave and Brittany returned to their rooms. When Dave walked back into his room, and saw Alvin and Simon were now missing, he was ready to collapse.

"Oh... fellas..." Dave moaned. He then stepped back outside, and called out for his boys. "Simon! Theodore! Alvin!!!"

Brittany stepped back outside. "Alvin and Simon gone now?"

"Looks that way..." Dave said, looking around for his boys.

Brittany freaked out, ran over to Dave, and wrapped herself around his leg. "I'm next!" She cried. "I'm next, I'm next, I'm next!"

"Brittany..."

"Don't let them get me! Don't let them get me!" Brittany bawled.

"Settle down, Brittany..." Dave said, as he scooped her up.

Brittany sniffed. "When we find the others, let's just turn back and go home!" She cried. "I want to go home! I want Miss Miller!" Brittany rested her head on Dave's shoulder, while he cradled her.

"We'll find them, Brittany, we'll find them." He reassured her.

Dave held on to Brittany, Brittany continued crying. "What kind of hotel is this?" Dave asked himself, quietly.

Meanwhile, in one laboratory, Eleanor was strapped to a metal table, while Orson kept poking her round belly. "See what happens when you live the way you shouldn't?" He asked her.

"What are you talking about?" Eleanor asked him.

Orson didn't answer. Instead, he walked over to a table, where he had a wide variety of different chemicals in different tubes and beakers. Working on some kind of concoction, when it was finished, he grabbed a syringe, extracted some of the concotion, before topping it with a hypodermic needle, which was then dropped into some kind of gun.

"Wh-what... what are you going to do to me?!" Eleanor cried.

Orson walked back over to Eleanor, and looked her dead in the eye. "I'm going to help you..." he told her. "If you could, you'll thank me tomorrow..."

"What does that mean?" Eleanor asked.

Orson undid the top buttons of Eleanor's nightgown, and held her head back, so he could easily see her neck. He placed the end of the barrel of the gun right between her vocal chords, and pulled the trigger.

In another laboratory, Jeanette was also strapped to a metal table, but Seymour's methods were a bit more 'orthodox'.

"What are you going to do to me?" Jeanette asked, on the verge of tears.

"Not to worry, sweetie," Seymour said, mixing the same chemicals Orson was, "I'm just here to help you."

"How does... strapping me to a platform... help me?" Jeanette asked.

"Just taking the proper precautions..." Seymour responded.

Seymour extracted the mixture he concoted into a hypodermic needle, before walking over to Jeanette. Seymour looked over Jeanette. "Were you born that way?"

"What way?" She asked.

"Oh well, this is for your own good..."

Seymour dabbed some cotton into alcohol, and wiped off the inside of Jeanette's forearm, before injecting her with the chemical. 


	4. The Startling Discovery

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Four "The Startling Discovery"

Dave sat Brittany back down, but she didn't want him to. She was so afraid that something might happen to her if Dave wasn't watching her.

"Come on, Brittany," Dave said, "let's go look for the others... they have to be around here somewhere..."

"Can... can't you still hold me?" Brittany asked, through her tears.

Dave sighed, "I would, but you have to admit, Brittany, you're growing... I'm getting older... frankly, you're getting just a little too heavy for me..."

"Well, I never!" Brittany said, offended.

"I didn't mean to offend you, Brittany," Dave apologized, "when you get to be my age, you just can't lift certain things like you used to... I even have trouble trying to lift Alvin anymore these days... come on, let's go look for everyone..."

Dave continued walking down the sidewalk, and over to the metal staircase at the end of the building, to ascend to the second floor to look for the other kids, while Brittany stayed put.

"Too heavy..." Brittany scoffed. "I only weight 30 pounds!"

"You should weigh less than that." A voice caught her by surprise.

Brittany nearly jumped out of her skin, when she turned around, and found Dr. Henderson behind her. "Hey, Buster!" She barked at him, also recognizing him as the manager from the front desk. "I've got a looooooong list of complaints about this place, starting with the disappearance on my sisters!"

"Don't worry about that," Dr. Henderson smirked, "you'll see them again soon enough."

"What?!" Brittany asked in confusion. "What did you do to my sisters?!"

Dr. Henderson slowly tried to make a grab for Brittany, but she slipped away and ran. In the woods across the road from the motel, Alvin and Simon plopped down in the grass.

"What was with that guy?!" Alvin asked.

"I don't know..." Simon said, "... but I bet he knows about the others' disappearances..."

Brittany ran down the road, but stopped when something caught her eye. She saw and uncovered manhole in the middle of the road... with the same, eerie, green glow coming from it, that she saw coming from the toilet in her room. Brittany, slowly, and carefully, walked over to the hole, and looked down. She debated in her mind whether she should check it out, or try to find Dave. When Brittany heard a loud horn blowing, and a huge, tractor-trailer barreling towards her, she knew she only had a split second to react, so she jump in, and plummeted downwards, until she landed in the sewer.

Brittany shrieked, when she surfaced from the sewage. "More poo water!!!"

Brittany cringed, as the current of the sewage system carried her further down the large drainage pipe. Pretty soon, she was coming upon a sub drain, where she saw the green light. The pipe must have led to whatever was caughing the light, but she would never make it. She tried to swim towards it, but the current of the sewage grew stronger, and stronger, as the drain went down a slant. Brittany struggled to keep her head above the water, but she began to freak out when she saw she was heading towards what looked like a waterfall. Brittany held on for quite a ride, when the sewage drained deeper into a larger pipe. Brittany didn't know what happened, but a few moments later, she woke up, and found herself hanging onto some kind of metal bar for dear life. She looked up, and saw it was a ladder, leading up to another manhole cover. With no other alternative in mind, Brittany climbed up the ladder.

Dave came back down the metal staircase. "Brittany!" He called out. "Alvin! Simon! Theodore! Eleanor! Jeanette! Brittany! Kids! Where are you?! Kids!?"

"Looking for something?" Dr. Henderson asked casually, as he met Dave at the bottom of the staircase.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am..." Dave said, "I wanted to file some complaints about the acommodations here, but my kids went missing..."

"Ah yes... your 'children'... come with me..." Dr. Henderson said, as he took Dave's hand.

"You wouldn't happen to know where they are, do you?" Dave asked, hopeful.

"Perhaps... but I'm more concerned about you..." Dr. Henderson said.

"Me?!" Dave asked, in confusion. "What about me?"

Inside a poorly-lit room, a manhole cover was removed from its respective place, and a soaking wet, foul smelling Brittany made her way through the hole, and into the room. She collapsed on the floor for a few moments, her body, still feeling the water, her heart beating faster, and faster. Brittany slowly sat up, and saw hundreds, maybe even thousands of caged animals. Mostly domestic animals like dogs, cats, rabbits, but even some wild animals like bears and monkeys. Brittany couldn't quite tell, but something inside her told her that these animals were trying to tell her something. She observed them, she could tell they didn't like where they were, but it was almost as if they were telling her to get out while she still could. Just then, she heard a click, turned her head, and found a huge, metal door slowly creep open. Brittany ducked behind a crate she saw off to the side, but spied very carefully on what was going on.

"How did it go?" One voice said.

"Pretty good," another voice said, "no complaints at all."

The two men laughed. They were Dr. Henderson's assistants, Orson and Seymour. They carried another cage into the room. This cage contained two, real chipmunks. They sat the cage on a table that was in the middle of the room, before they headed out again.

"Dr. Henderson still working on the other, little butterball?" Seymour asked.

"Don't know," Orson asked, "I think..."

They walked out of the room, and locked the large, metal door behind them. Curious, Brittany walked over to the caged chipmunks, who acted really happy to see her.

"Hi there..." she said to them softly.

The chipmunks stuck their little hands through the cage, trying to grab ahold of Brittany, but they couldn't reach her.

"What's the matter?" Brittany asked. "Scared?"

The chipmunks grew sad. Brittany didn't seem to understand them. They tried communicating with her, but all she could hear were simple little squeaks. Brittany were concerned for them, they seemed scared to her. She opened the cage, and the two chipmunks jumped into her arms, climbed up her shoulders, tried to snuggle up to her neck. Once more, they tried communicating with her, but she could only hear squeaks.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked them, as she took them into her hands.

"What in the world is going on here?" Dave asked, while Dr. Henderson grilled him.

"Are you familiar with bestiality?" He asked him.

"What? What are you getting at?" Dave asked.

"Man is not meant to mate with beast!" Dr. Henderson yelled.

"I still don't understand where you're coming from!" Dave said.

"Your... 'children'..." Dr. Henderson said, through his teeth. "They're chipmunks... they should live like chipmunks... not like man..."

"What do you mean?" Dave asked, more confused than ever.

Dr. Henderson pounded the table. "What went through your mind when you mated with a chipmunk?!"

"Sir," Dave said, "I have never mated with a chipmunk!"

"Then how do you explain your 'children'?!" Dr. Henderson continued grilling Dave.

"My boys were left on my doorstep when they were babies!" Dave insisted. "Their mother wasn't able to take care of them, it was a harsh winter, there was a food shortage in the forrest!"

"What exactly were you doing in the forrest?!"

"I had a cabin there! It's where I lived for a while!"

Alvin and Simon had snuck back to the motel, but then time, they went into the main office to look for answers. Simon snuck behind the front desk, and into the back room that read "Employees Only". The only thing Simon found that struck him curious was an identity card with the picture of the manager on it.

"Alvin!" Simon cried out. "Alvin, look at this... this belongs to the guy who owns this motel..."

"Let me see that!" Alvin snatched the card out of Simon's hand, and read over it. "Dr. Ben Henderson... he's a scientist..."

"Exactly!" Simon said.

"So what?" Alvin asked. "You're an aspiring scientist, just because he is, don't start..."

"No," Simon interrupted, "look, he's trained in biology, chemistry, and animal testing!"

"I'm against cruelty to animals!" Alvin said.

"So am I, technically, we are animals!" Simon said. "We're chipmunks."

"So what?" Alvin asked.

"Don't you see?" Simon asked. "What else could explain the others' disappearances?"

"Oh, what?" Alvin asked. "You think... this Dr. Ben Henderson kidnapped them and is performing tests on them?"

"Alright then, Mr. Logical, you tell me what you think happened to them!"

"I don't know what happened to them..." Alvin paused. "Maybe you have a point..."

"There must be a lab around here somewhere..."

Brittany held the two chipmunks close to her face. "What are you trying to tell me?" She asked them.

They just stared into her eyes. They hoped she might be able to see in their eyes who they were, but Brittany had no idea what they were doing.

"Well," Brittany said, as she placed them back in their cage, "I have to go, I have to find my sisters and friends."

The two chipmunks went completely spastic in their cage after Brittany said that. Brittany didn't know what had gotten into them, but she went about her way. She tried to open the large, metal door, but remember it was locked, so, she pulled a hair pin from her hair, and picked the lock. Afterwards, the two chipmunks simply retreated to a corner of the cage, and huddled together in dispair.

Meanwhile, in one laboratory, Theodore tried to chew through the straps, as he lay strapped to a metal table. He had no idea what was going on, but he didn't want anything to happen to him. Brittany looked through every door she came upon in the hallway she was walking down. She discovered a couple of broom closets, a supply room filled with scientific equipment, a small bathroom, until finally, she came across one of the laboratories.

"Theodore!" Brittany squealed.

"Brittany!" Theodore called back. "Help me!"

Brittany ran over to where Theodore was strapped, and began to undo them. "What's going on here?!" She asked.

"I don't know," Theodore said, "but that guy from the front desk is like some kind of mad scientist, or something!"

"Have you seen my sisters?" Brittany asked, finishing undoing the straps.

"No, I haven't..." Theodore said, as he hopped off the table. "We need to get out of here, this place is spooky!"

"Tell me something I don't know!" Brittany responded.

"And... you stink..." Theodore said, holding his nose.

"I had to swim through a sewer to get here..." Brittany told him. "Don't ask..."

Theodore and Brittany headed for the door, but Orson, and Seymour walked in.

"Hey!" Orson called out. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Brittany ask them.

"I asked you first!" Orson said.

"So?" Brittany responded. "First is the worst, and second is the best!"

"And third is the one with the hairy chest!" Orson pointed at Seymour.

"Not so fast there!" Seymour said. "We have to give you your medicine!"

"But we're not sick!" Theodore said.

"Oh, trust us," Orson said, "you're very sick!"

"We're not sick, he said!" Brittany barked. "Now back off, or I'll have to get rough with both of you!"

"Whooooooooooooooo!" Orson and Seymour both said, sarcastically.

"Rough?" Orson asked. "We'll show you rough..."

Orson turned out the lights, shortly thereafter, all that could heard were the sounds of a scuffle going on. Seconds later, the lights were turned back on, revealing Orson and Seymour had the daylights beat out of them, as they lay on the floor, each laughing stupidly in their daze.

"Maybe that'll teach you a lesson in not messing with Brittany Miller!" Brittany said, dusting her hands off.

"Come on!" Theodore took Brittany's hand, and they both ran out of the laboratory together.

"Seymour?" Orson said, out of it.

"Yeah?" Seymour mumbled.

"I think I see stars..."

"Are they spinning around your head?"

"Yeah..."

"Which way?"

"Clockwise."

"Mine are going counter-clockwise..."

"Maybe together we're okay..."

Alvin and Simon strolled around the back of the motel, looking for anything that looked unusual. The back of the property lacked grass. It was closed off by an old, wooden fence. Alvin walked over to what looked like the doors to a cellar. He opened them, and saw some kind of dim light and the bottom of a long staircase.

"Hey, Simon!" He called out, as Simon ran over. "Think we should check it out?"

"Let's do it..." Simon said, as he began to descend the staircase, followed by Alvin, just before the doors automatically locked themselves behind them.

"Gee..." Alvin said, nervously, "except for that dim light at the bottom of the stairs... it... it sure is dark in here..."

"I think I have a glow-in-the-dark pen in my pocket..." Simon said.

"Fine, while you look for it, I'll try to learn brail." Alvin said.

"Um... Alvin... how are you going to..."

"Chapter One - Getting to Know the Bumps..."

A few seconds later, Simon pulled his glow-in-the-dark pen out of his pocket.

"Got it!" Simon said. "It's not much, but it'll guide us down the stairs.

Alvin held up a glowing latern. "Neat! Where'd you get it?" 


	5. Talk to Me, Baby!

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Five "Talk to Me, Baby"

"Nevermind that," Simon told Alvin, "where did you get that?!"

Simon pointed out the latern Alvin was holding onto, after Simon fished out his glow-in-the-dark ink pen from his pocket in the dark.

"Oh, it was hanging on the wall here, when you come down the stairs." Alvin said.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Come on..."

Alvin and Simon guided their way down the long staircase. There must have been at least forty steps to descend, and when the two finally made it to the bottom, they saw a long hallway.

"What is this, Simon?" Alvin asked.

"I'm not sure..." Simon responded, taking the latern from Alvin, "but we're about to find out!"

Alvin and Simon carefully made their way down the hallway. Suddenly, there heard footsteps, that kept growing louder and louder.

"Shh... hear that?" Simon asked.

"Look!" Alvin called out, as they found two figures running towards them.

"Brace yourself, Alvin!" Simon commanded, as the figured grew closer and closer.

Finally, the figures approached them, but when they did, they screamed. Because of that, Alvin and Simon screamed. All four of them screamed.

"Alvin?!" Brittany asked. "Simon?!"

"Brittany?!" Alvin asked.

"Theodore?!" Simon asked.

"Simon?!" Theodore asked. "Alvin?!"

"Theodore?!" Brittany asked.

"Brittany?!" Theodore asked.

"Simon?!" Alvin asked.

"Hold it..." Simon said.

"Aw come on, it's your turn!" Alvin said.

"No, wait..." Simon said, "Brittany? Theodore? Where have you been?!"

Brittany and Theodore both began to babble about their ordeals to the two at once. Not understanding what either of them were saying, Alvin and Simon eyeballed each other, before Alvin reached into his pockets, pulling out a set of earplugs, and plugged his ears. Simon shook his head.

"Okay, okay, hold it!" Simon said. "One at a time, please."

Brittany and Theodore both retold their stories, but Simon stopped them again.

"I said one at a time... Theodore?"

"Well," Theodore began, "I had to number two, but I number oned instead, but then the toilet lifted me into the air, threw me into a hole in the bathtub, so I did a number three."

"T.M.I." Brittany said.

"T.M.I.?" Theodore asked.

"Too much information!" Brittany told him.

"Anyway, we think that guy from the front desk is some kind of mad scientist or something!" Theodore told Simon.

"We know," Simon said, pulling Dr. Henderson's card from his pocket, "he's a scientist, specializing in biology, chemistry, and animal testing!"

"Yeah," Theodore said, "he kept me in this glass box, then he took me out, and strapped me to this metal platform, and told me he was going to help me."

"Help you with what?" Simon asked.

"I don't know," Theodore said, "something about helping live the way I'm supposed to..."

Everyone remained silent after that.

"What did he mean helping you live the way you're supposed to?" Simon asked.

"I don't know..." Theodore said, "after he strapped me to the bed, he walked out of the laboratory..."

"Then there is a laboratory down here!" Simon said. "Where is it?"

"Down here..." Theodore said, walking back down the way he and Brittany came, followed by the others, except Alvin, who wasn't paying attention, because his ears were still plugged.

Alvin simply stood there, humming a little diddy to himself, when Simon suddenly grabbed his arm, and yanked him down the hallway.

Moments later in the laboratory, where Dr. Henderson's flunkies, Orson and Seymour lay unconscious, the kids look around.

"Look at all these chemicals he was working with..." Simon said, "some of these are lethal..."

"Lethal?" Theodore asked.

"You know," Brittany said, "that means it's against the law."

"No, that's 'illegal'," Simon corrected her, "lethal means they're deadly..."

Simon came across a clipboard with some calculations, equations, and formulas noted on it. Simon looked through the papers, and with each page he turned, his face grew grimmer and grimmer.

"What is it?" Alvin asked.

"They're... they're working on some sort of syrum that changes D.N.A..." Simon said. "If there are any animals they come across that live like people... like we do... they inject them with this syrum they've created, and it supposedly changes that animal's D.N.A., and it changes them back to their original, non-anthropomorphic stage of mind and body."

Pause.

"Jeanette! Eleanor!" Brittany cried.

Back in the large room full of caged animals, Brittany ran over to the cage sitting on the table, where the two chipmunks sat. "Jeanette?! Eleanor?!"

The chipmunks jumped up and down, before running to the front of the cage, and stood up against it.

"Let me see..." Simon said, as he opened the cage, but before he could do anything, the chipmunk with darker fur jumped into Simon's arms, while the chipmunk with the lighter fur jumped into Theodore's.

"No doubt about it," Alvin said, "that's Jeanette and Eleanor!"

Simon looked the chipmunk in the eyes. "Jeanette?" He asked. "Is that truly you?"

The chipmunk simply squinted, trying to let Simon know it can't see very well.

"Um... excuse me..." Simon hesitantly held the chipmunk's hind legs back, as the chipmunk's eyes suddenly bugged out.

"What are you trying to do?" Alvin asked. "See if she can do a Marty Feldman impression?"

Simon stopped, and blushed. "Pardon me..." he told the chipmunk. "Well, this is female, so I think it's safe to say that this is Jeanette..."

The Jeanette chipmunk bit Simon's hand for 'exposing' her.

"Ouch!" Simon yelped. "I apologize, I just wanted to make sure..."

Theodore held up the Eleanor chipmunk. "Ellie?" He asked it.

Theodore held the chipmunk close to his face, and it began to nibble its nose, to show affection. "Aw..." Theodore giggled.

"Well, now we know where everyone's at." Simon said. "Now, if there's only a way we can reverse the process..."

The Jeanette chipmunk jumped up and down in Simon's hands, in an attempt to let him know that she would like that.

Moments later, Brittany drug Orson and Seymour into a large broom closet in the laboratory, and locked them in, while Alvin and Theodore locked the laboratory door, in hopes to keep anyone else out, while Simon tried to figure out a formula to create a antidote for Jeanette and Eleanor, who sat on metal bed, both munching on walnuts.

"How long is this going to take, Simon?" Alvin asked.

"I'm not sure," Simon said, "this may take a little while, but I hope it doesn't take too long..."

Simon read over the notes, trying to determine exactly how the formula works, so he could try to develop an antidote. Dave, on the other hand, was bound and gagged, and locked in the room where Dr. Henderson was grilling him early.

"As soon as I help your 'children', Dr. Henderson told Dave, "I'll help you... a little dose of re-education won't hurt you." Dr. Henderson was still convinced that Dave was lying about never mating with a chipmunk.

Dr. Henderson also deduced that the animals won't require re-education. As soon as they're re-released in the wild, their original instincts should kick in. In the laboratory, Simon jotted down notes regarding the chemicals that were available for him to work with, and tried to work out a formula for an antidote. Brittany played with her chipmunk sisters on the table. She scooped both of them up, and snuggled them dearly, knowing that they were still her sisters, despite now that were actual chipmunks, rather than anthropomorphic chipmunks.

"What's that smell?" Alvin asked.

"I had to swim in people's..." Brittany began.

"Shh!" Simon shushed the others. "I can't concentrate!" Simon continued jotting down notes.

Unfortunately, Orson and Seymour started to regain consciousness in the brook closet.

"Oogh..." Orson said, "where am I?"

"Oh, I knew you were going to say that!" Seymour said.

"No, seriously, where am I?" Orson asked.

"Hold on..." Seymour reached into his labcoat pocket, and pulled out a glow-in-the-dark pen. "We're in the closet."

"Seymour..." Orson said, backing away from Seymour.

"No, seriously, we're in closet, look..." Seymour reached for the light switch, and flipped it, revealing to Orson that they were, indeed, inside a broom closet.

"Well," Orson said, "let's get out of here..."

Seymour tried to open the door, but found it had been locked. "It's locked."

So, the two scientists began banging on the door, and crying for help.

"Uh oh!" Brittany said, in the laboratory, "they're awake!"

The Jeanette and Eleanor chipmunks climbed up the sleeves of Brittany's moist nightgown.

"Hey!" Brittany squealed. "Cut it out, girls, you're tickling me!"

"Simon, how's it coming?!" Alvin asked.

"I think I've just about got it... but I'm going to need complete silence so I won't break my concentration..." Simon said.

Brittany slipped off the metal table, the Jeanette and Eleanor chipmunks falling out of her gown, and scurrying over to Simon, to which, they climbed up his sweater.

"Hey!" Simon said. "Stop that!"

Brittany unlocked the closet door. "Hey, could you keep quiet please? We're working in here!"

"Oh, sorry." Orson and Seymour said.

"That's better." Brittany locked them back in the closet.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Orson shouted.

"Alvin! Theodore, help me out here!" Simon said.

"Hang on Simon... Alvin stuck his hands up Simon's sweater, trying to grab the scurrying chipmunks.

"Did you get them?" Simon asked.

"I'm not sure..." Alvin said.

"Ow!" Simon yelped. "Those were mine!"

"Oh, sorry!" Alvin apologized, just as the Jeanette and Eleanor chipmunks crawled out of Simon's turtleneck.

"Got you!" Simon said, as he grabbed the chipmunks.

"Here, I'll take them..." Theodore said, as Simon handed them to him.

Dr. Henderson walked down the hallway of his underground network, tried to open the door to his laboratory, but finds it locked. He pulls the keys out of his pocket, and begins unlocking the door, which did not go un-noticed by those in the room, who let out quiet gasps. When Dr. Henderson stepped into his lab, the only thing he noticed out of the ordinary was the fact that Theodore was no longer strapped to the bed.

"What the?" He said. "Orson! Seymour!"

"In here!" Orson and Seymour cried, from the closet.

Dr. Henderson walked over to the closet, tried to open, but saw it was locked too, so he unlocked it for them. "Just what is going on here?!"

"Those chipmunks!" Orson exclaimed.

"They're loose in the underground!" Seymour added.

"Where are they?!" Dr. Henderson asked.

"They were here a minute ago..." Orson said.

"Well come on, they can't have gone far!" Dr. Henderson made his way out of the lab, followed by his flunkies. Once they were assured they were out of the room, the kids emerged from their various hiding places. Alvin and Brittany ran over to the door, locked it again, but this time, grabbed anything they could get their hands on to block the door as well, while Simon worked as feverish as he could to finish his formula for the antidote.

"Stand your ground!" Simon said to Alvin and Brittany. "I'm fighting time!"

Simon finished the formula. He grabbed a large beaker, then various different sized test tubes, as began to take careful amounts of each chemical he needed to make his antidote. Simon was nervous through-out the entire time... if something startled him, or caught him off guard, and ended up with the wrong ratio he needs, then the results could be disasterous.

"How's it coming, Simon?!" Theodore asked, cradling the chipmunk forms of Jeanette and Eleanor.

"I think I've just about got it..." Simon said, as he was adding more carefully measured amounts of chemicals into the beaker.

After about another two minutes, Simon finished his concotion, grabbed a syringe, extracted the concotion, and topped it with a hypodermic needle.

"Alright, Theodore," Simon said, "sit them on the table there so I can administer this."

Theodore did as requested, however, when Theodore let go, Jeanette and Eleanor scurried away, both unsure whether or not Simon's antidote would really work.

"Hey, get back here!" Simon called after them, as he chased them.

There was a bang at the door. It was Dr. Henderson trying to walk back into his lab, but being surprised at finding the door locked again.

"Come on, Simon!" Alvin shouted.

"Hurry!" Brittany added.

"Enough of these games!" Dr. Henderson yelled, as he tried to push his way into the room.

Simon cornered the scurrying chipmunks. He picked up Jeanette, while he pressed Eleanor against the wall with his knee. Simon turned Jeanette around, and injected her rear end with his antidote, before sitting her down, and doing the same to Eleanor.

"Did it work?" Alvin, Brittany, and Theodore asked in unison. 


	6. Like Things go Boom

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Six "Like Things go Boom"

Dave had managed to free himself from his bonds, and remove his gag where he was held captive by mad scientist Dr. Ben Henderson, whose secret was out about changing the D.N.A. of anthropomorphic animals, and turning them back to their original state of mind and body. That part Dave didn't know about, what he did know what that Dr. Henderson was crazy. When Dave refered to the chipmunks and chipettes as his 'kids', Dr. Henderson saw Dave as a mentally ill savage for animals... particularly chipmunks, though Dave swear he never once, in his life, even mated with a chipmunk. But enough of trivial matters, Dave was ready to contact the police, and report this Dr. Henderson character, who was, at that moment, trying to break down the door to his laboratory, while Alvin and Brittany worked hard to keep the door baracaded, while Simon awaited the results of his antidote. The chipmunk forms of Jeanette and Eleanor lay silent on the floor of the laboratory for a few seconds, before slowly, before the others' eyes, they lost their fur, and their tails, they grew to about three feet tall, their beady, black eyes changed to green and brown humanish eyes, Jeanette sprouted brown hair on the top of her head, while Eleanor sprouted blonde. Slowly, they woke up.

"Jeanette! Eleanor!" Brittany squealed, as she ran from the baracade, and over to her sisters, to embrace them, tightly.

"Oh, it's so good to have you two back to normal!" Brittany said, with tears in their eyes.

"They're not normal!" Dr. Henderson said, when the kids realized he broke through the baracade, since Alvin wasn't able to hold them off alone. "None of you are normal! Chipmunks shouldn't live like humans! Chipmunks shouldn't walk like bipeds, nor speak words! Chipmunks are meant to scurry around in the woods, and parks, live off nuts and berries, seek shelter in trees..."

"Hey!" Alvin spoke up. "Our mother does all that! Our mother lives in the woods, she lives off nuts and berries, and she lives in a tree! It was our adopted father who introduced us to city life!"

"Well, I will be the one who will re-introduce you all to the lives you should be living!" Dr. Henderson said. "Now hand over that syringe! Now!" Dr. Henderson shoved past Alvin and Theodore, and over to Simon, who held on tightly to the syringe, holding his antidote to Dr. Henderson's D.N.A.-changing syrum. "Hand it over!"

Simon stood his ground. Alvin walked over to Dr. Henderson's chemistry table. "Hey, doc!" Alvin called out, garnering the scientist's attention. "What does this do?" Alvin asked, carelessly snatching a test tube from its respective place.

"Don't touch that!" Dr. Henderson said, walking towards Alvin, as he accidentally dumped it onto the floor on purpose.

"Oops." Alvin said.

"You arrogant, little punk!" Dr. Henderson said, walking towards Alvin.

At that moment, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor made a break for it, while Alvin continued to mess around with Dr. Henderson's chemicals.

"Say, what happens when I mix these two together?" Alvin asked, as he thoughtlessly mixed two chemicals together.

"No!" Dr. Henderson cried out.

A small explosion was heard in the hallway, the kids were running down. Simon stopped.

"We've got to go back for Alvin!" Simon said.

"We've got to get out of here!" Brittany said.

"Alright," Simon said, "you get the others out of here, I'll go back for Alvin..." Simon ran off.

"Simon! Wait, you could get hurt!" Theodore called after his older brother.

"Come on!" Brittany said, running after Simon.

Back in the lab, both Alvin and Dr. Henderson cough from the smoke filling the room, from the small explosion caused by Alvin. In the confusion, Simon was able to grab Alvin's hand, and drag him out of the room. Once back out in the hallway, the kids continued to run for an exit, knocking down Orson and Seymour in the process, as they step out of the bathroom.

"This way!" Alvin screamed, as they ran towards the long staircase.

"But, Alvin," Simon called after him, "the doors are locked!"

"Not to worry!" Alvin said. "I'll just use my head!"

Alvin used his hear, alright. He rammed his head through the doors, creating a hole large enough for them to crawl out of.

"First things first," Brittany said, "let's find some clothes for my sisters!"

"Huh?" Jeanette and Eleanor said, before looking down and realizing they were completely bare. They huddled together again to hide their private areas, while they carefully followed Brittany back into their room. Eleanor grabbed some clothes out of her suitcase, while Brittany helped Jeanette, since she had lost her glasses.

"We gotta get out of this place!" Jeanette said.

"If it's the last thing we ever do!" Eleanor added.

"We gotta get out of this place!" Jeanette repeated.

"Oh," Brittany said, handing Jeanette her glasses, "I believe these are your's."

"Where did you find them?" Jeanette asked, as she slipped them on.

"I found them in the hallway, when we started to run." Brittany told her.

"I'm telling you, there's strange goings on at the Hardknock Hotel!" Dave said, on the phone to the police. "No, I'm not drunk! Listen please..."

Before Dave continued his conversation with the police, his boys ran into their room. "Dave!" They called out.

"Boys!" Dave cried out, before hanging up the phone, and scooping them up. "Where have you fellas been?!" Dave asked.

"No time for that now, Dave!" Simon said.

"We've got to get out of here, and fast!" Theodore cried.

"I agree!" Dave said, as he sat his boys down. "Just grab your stuff, and head for the car!"

The boys did just that. They each grabbed their suitcases, and ran to the car, while Dave ran into the girls' room to help them.

"Come on, girls!" Dave told them. "Just grab your stuff, and let's get out of here!"

"We're coming, Dave!" They said, while Dave ran to get the van started, so when they girls hop in, they can speed off. The girls grabbed their belongings, and while Jeanette and Eleanor ran out, and hopped into the van, Brittany was still grabbing her stuff. She headed for the door, but Orson and Seymour stepped into the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Orson asked.

Seymour grabbed Brittany, causing her to drop her stuff. "You're not going anyway, girly!"

"Put me down!" Brittany screamed. "Put me down!" Brittany started kicking her feet, while Orson stepped out of the room. He was met with a fist, knocking him out, as he went through the door way.

"Orson?!" Seymour asked, before he was knocked out as well.

Brittany could hardly believe her eyes, when she saw Dave was the one who knocked the two scientists out. "Wow, Dave..." she started.

"You know I always say violence is not the answer..." he began, "but in this case, these guys needed to have some sense knocked into them." Dave scooped up Brittany, and helped her into the van, after he got in himself, and they sped off into the night, just as Dr. Henderson came out of the main office, still having smoke disipate from his body from the small explosion caused by Alvin in his laboratory.

Dr. Henderson watched the tailights of the mini-van disappear from his sight in a matter of seconds. "This isn't over," Dr. Henderson swore, "we will meet again... and we do... you all will receive the help you so badly need..." 


	7. Running in Circles

A Night at the Hardknock Hotel - Chapter Seven "Running in Circles"

Dave drove the kids further down the road as fast as he could safely go, so wanting to get away from the Hardknock Hotel they tried to spend a night at. The night seemed like it lasted forever, but after an hour of driving, the dark sky slowly grew lighter, so Dave pulled over on the side of the road to give everyone, and himself, a chance to try to calm down after their disturbing episode. The kids stepped out of the van.

"So what exactly happened?" Dave asked, in curiosity.

"Yeah!" Brittany added. "I nearly freaked out when I saw you two were gone!"

"After you went into the bathroom," Jeanette began, "the bed flipped itself, and the next thing we knew, we were falling down like this large laundry chute-like thing, into this large cage."

"There were those bumbling scientists, looking us over," Eleanor added, "talking about how they were going to help us..."

"Then I was taken into this lab, where I was strapped to a table..." Jeanette said.

"So was I!" Eleanor said.

"Then the guy started mixing up these different chemicals into some kind of syrum he said that I would thank him for when I woke up..." Jeanette continued.

"Me too!" Eleanor added.

"So he injected me with it, and the next thing I knew... I woke up... feeling like... well... a chipmunk..." Jeanette finished.

"Me too." Eleanor added.

"But you are chipmunks." Dave said.

"No, I mean real, wild chipmunks." Jeanette said.

"Yeah, you should've seen them!" Brittany said. "Small... furry... little tails... big beady eyes..."

"That guy from the front desk was probably going to do the same thing to me!" Theodore said.

"That guy was a nutcase!" Dave said. "Giving me the third degree about mating with a chipmunks, saying I was guilty of bestiality!"

"Beasty whuh?" Theodore asked.

"Bestiality," Simon corrected him, "or as the more correct term, zoophilia... basically, since we're anthropomorphic chipmunks, and Dave refers to us as 'children', Dr. Henderson assumed that we're the love-children of Dave and a wild, female chipmunk."

"He did tell us we're not meant to live like humans." Brittany said.

"I say we call the police!" Alvin exclaimed.

"I tried," Dave said, "but the officer thought I was drunk, he didn't buy the story."

"It is rather far-fetched," Jeanette said, "if only there was a way to expose the underground..."

"Underground?" Dave asked.

"Under the motel," Simon said, "they have a network down there... a few laboratories among things..."

"There was this huge room full of animals in cages!" Brittany added.

"Simon..." Jeanette said, "you have to administer your antidote to all of them!"

"I don't know if there would be enough to treat all of them!" Simon said.

"You have to try!" Jeanette said.

Simon paused, before letting out a sigh. "Alright..."

"This is dangerous." Dave said.

"I know..." Simon said, "but I'll take my chance..." Simon looked at Jeanette. "And I'll need assistance..."

"I'll help you." Jeanette.

Dave sighed. "Alright then... I guess we're on our way back to the Hardknock Hotel..."

Everyone started to board the van, except for Simon and Jeanette.

"Simon?" Jeanette asked.

"Yes, Jeanette?" Simon responded.

Jeanette hesitantly smacked Simon across the face. "That's for looking at me inappropriately when I was a chipmunk." She said.

"Sorry..." Simon apologized, as he rubbed his cheek.

"But this is for saving me..." Jeanette said before slowly leaning in, and giving Simon a kiss on the lips. Simon kissed Jeanette in return.

They stood their kissing for a couple of minutes, until Alvin climbed up next to Dave in the front passenger seat, and beeped the horn at them. A couple of hours later, back in Dr. Henderson's main labortary, Dr. Henderson looked through Simon's notes that he left behind.

"What's that?" Orson asked.

"The formula for the antidote for our syrum." Dr. Henderson said, before he pulled a cigarette lighter out of his pants pocket, and attempted to burn it.

"No!" Jeanette shrieked.

"Lookie who's back boys..." Dr. Henderson said.

"We knew you'd come to your senses." Orson said.

"Yeah, chipmunks aren't meant to live like humans." Seymour agreed.

"Now, why don't you just make yourselves at home, and we'll begin your treatment right aw..." Before Dr. Henderson could finish his sentence, he felt a sting in the side of his neck. It was a blow dart. Dr. Henderson counted backwards from 100, but only made it to 98 before his passed out.

Orson and Seymour both eye balled each other, before they voluntarily locked themselve back in the closet. Out in the hallway, Dave handed the dart gun back to Alvin.

"Alvin?" Dave asked. "For once, you come through for us... but when we get back home, you and I have got a lot of talking to do about this!"

Alvin chuckled nervously. In the main office, Brittany was on the office, on the phone with the police.

"... That's right, you need to get down to the Hardknock Hotel as soon as possible, there's a math lab down here!" Brittany told them.

"No, that's meth lab!" Eleanor corrected her. "A meth lab!"

"I mean meth lab!" Brittany said. "No, this isn't a crack call, this is a meth call! I don't care if you said crankshaft, I'm telling you you need to get down here right away! Wait a minute... he hung up..."

"I've got an idea..." Eleanor said.

Down in the laboratory, Simon finished another beaker full of his antidote, and managed to extract about five syringes full of it.

"Now," Simon said, "while I'm administering this to the animals, you continue to make some more of this. That way, when I come back to make more, you can administer some yourself."

"Right!" Jeanette said, as she worked her way over to the chemist table.

Simon ran out of the laboratory, past Dave and Alvin.

"How's it going?" Dave asked.

"We're working on it..." Simon said, as he ran down the hallway.

"Simon!" Dave called back. "Remember what I said about running with sharp instruments!"

Simon made it to the scientists' indoor zoo. "My good... uh... fellow warm-blooded beings..."

The animals looked up at him.

"I have found the antidote!" Simon exclaimed, while the animals began dancing in their cages.

Simon began to open cages, and inject animals as fast as he could, while Jeanette continued to re-create Simon's antidote herself, until she noticed that the laboratory also housed the underground's main sprinker system. Back in the room, Simon was halfway through his first trip when suddenly the sprinkler system engaged, but instead of sprinkling water, it sprinkled his antidote. Back in the laboratory, Jeanette kept making more of Simon's antidote, and pouring it into the pipes of the sprinkler system, when Simon ran back in.

"Jeanette!" He called out.

"Pretty clever, huh?" She asked him.

Simon smiled. "Jeanette? You're a genius!"

Jeanette smiled. In the indoor zoo, the animals consumed as much of the sprinkling antidote as they could. Some were already out cold on the floor, while others slowly began their transformation. In the main office.

"I don't hear anything." Theodore said.

"Yeah, me neither!" Brittany added.

"That's because it's a silent alarm!" Eleanor told them.

Miles away, a police car was racing towards the hotel, while the sun continued rising. Inside the indoor zoo, pretty much every animal had transformed back to their original anthropomorphic state of mind and body. Jeanette ran over to the broom closet, and unlocked the two assistants.

"Have a nice day!" She said to them sweetly. Before she and Simon ran out of the room, followed by Dave and Alvin.

"You think it's safe?" Seymour asked.

The two heard the rumbles of hundreds of nude antropomorphic animals ramaging through the underground, and making their way towards the laboratories.

"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid dental job." Orson said.

"Dental job?" Seymour asked.

"They're going to knock all of our teeth out!" Orson said.

"Let's get out of here! Seymour said, as he once again locked him and Orson in the closet.

Dave and the kids watched from across the street as a police car pulled up in front of the motel, and two cops jumped out. They ran into the main office, and deactivated the silent alarm, before one rain down the sidewalk towards the metal staircase, while the other ran around back, where he saw the cellar doors open. The cop was completely shocked when he saw hundreds of nude anthropomorphic animals trashing the laboratories in the underground network. Orson and Seymour were still locked in the closet.

"Why didn't I listen to mother and become a tree surgeon?" Orson said in dispair.

"Why didn't I listen to my mother and simply drop dead?" Seymour said, also in dispair.

"There he is!" A anthropomorphic bear said, as he spotted the unconscious Dr. Henderson on the floor.

"Let's give him a taste of his own medicine!" Cried out an anthropomorphic rabbit, as they raided the laboratory, and injected him with his own syrum, which altered his D.N.A., turning him into a large rat. When Orson and Seymour were discovered in the closet, they too were injected with the syrum, turning Orson into a vulture, and turning Seymour into a spider.

Dave and the kids were on the road again.

"All's well that ends well." Dave said.

They continued driving for a few more hours, until Dave came across a building which he assumed was another rest stop. "Come on kids."

Everyone got out of the van, when a middle-aged woman came out of the building.

"David Seville?" She asked him.

"That's correct, you are?" He asked.

"I'm Lisa Kendell, I'm renting this cabin to you for the week." She said.

"Well how about that kids?" Dave asked. "We found our cabin completely by accident!"

Dave explained how they lost their map on the way, and he didn't quite remember the exact location of the cabin. Ms. Kendell showed them around the cabin, and the property in general. Everyone had a great time that week. Alvin and Eleanor loved going mountain-climbing and hiking, Simon and Brittany enjoyed swimming in the lake, though Simon mostly tried to communicate with the fish he'd find, Theodore got a kick out of cooking over an open camp fire, Jeanette spent most of her time observe and photographing the beautiful landscape around her, all the while Dave simply enjoyed watching the kids enjoy themselves and have a good time. It was certainly a vacation they would never forget. That Friday night, while everyone sat around their camp fire...

"You kids sure have had a lot of fun this week, haven't you?" Dave asked them.

The kids all agreed it was a great vacation.

"Too bad we have to leave tomorrow." Theodore said, sadly.

"Don't feel too bad, Theodore," Dave assured his youngest son, "besides, just think, there's always summer vacation to look forward too!"

"Hey, that's right!" Brittany said.

"I say we all go to the Grand Canyon, and do some bungy-jumping!" Alvin suggested.

"That's dangerous!" Simon said. "I say we visit our nation's capitol!"

"Couldn't we go to the Cordon Bleu in Paris?" Theodore asked.

"We're going to Las Vegas!" Brittany said.

"I want to go to Universal Studios!" Eleanor butted in.

"Um... what are the chances of us coming back here for the summer?" Jeanette asked.

Dave chucked. "Come on kids, we have two months to decide, in the meantime, let's just enjoy our last night here in at this lovely location!"

They did. They didn't want to leave the next morning, but they had to, as their week's vacation was up. During the middle of the week, Dave found a convenient store nearby, where he had bought a new map, and marked the route home. After everyone finished packing up, and loaded up the van, Dave appointed Jeanette navigator again.

"Are you sure, Dave?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm positive!" Dave said with a smile.

Miles down the road, Dave was coming to a turn pike.

"Well," Dave asked Jeanette, "do we stay on this road, or do we leave the interstate?"

Jeanette looked at the map carefully. "Let's see... we want to stay on the interstate until we come to a third turn pike."

Unfortunately, Jeanette accidentally let go of the map, and it blew out the window again.

"Jeanette!!!" The other kids yelled.

The end. 


End file.
